Weak

Proverbs 24

10[If] thou losest courage in the day of trouble, thy strength is small.

11Deliver them that are taken forth unto death, and withdraw not from them that stagger to slaughter.
12If thou sayest, Behold, we knew it not, will not he that weigheth the hearts consider it? And he that preserveth thy soul, he knoweth it; and he rendereth to man according to his work.

I always liked this verse. I thought it was rather funny, to kind of hear "you're weak!" Haha

Anyway, whenever I'm weak, I think of this verse. I think of this verse when it feels like I'm about to totter, when I think I can't make it anymore, when I just want to stop for a bit and take a rest. I think, God would call me weak! But I'm thinking, hey man, of course I lose courage in the day of trouble, what other time would I lose courage! It just seems so reasonable sometimes to me that we're limited, we need breaks to do our own thing for a bit, and God ought to understand that, right?


I'm kind of at that place for a bit right now. I guess people have told me not to be discouraged, but I just think it's so sad to see someone fall away from God. I just want to take a break from reaching out to people--to kind of give up and say, you know, this just isn't working. Things aren't going right, I'm doing a bunch of useless things, and why can't someone else do it for now? I would just like to sink into a time of doing mindless things to just go numb to everything that's going on. I would like to watch TV, so that I don't have to think about all the work that has to be done. The seeking of the Lord, seeking His Will, seeking His direction, praying for people, reading His Word. I don't know about other people, but it takes effort for me. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it's just pure joy that's motivating me to read the Bible. Sometimes though, sometimes like now, it's hard, and it's tough, and it's dry. And I just want to let it go until I feel that urge and that urgency to read His Word again.


At any rate, I think verses 10 and 11-12 are separate paragraphs, but I like to put them together. Ah, I hope I don't misinterpret it, but what I think about most is, during times like these, I have to remember it's not about me. It's not about how lazy I would rather be, or how much I would prefer to sink into self-pity. There are people walking into death, and even if I say, I just didn't know...I don't think I would excuse myself, how much less God who knows our hearts.


It's a serious business that we're engaged in, people need God, whether they realize it or not. And we have to be ready to show them the way if we get that chance. Not because we're earning our way into heaven, but because we love them. I'm kind of an extremist honestly--I'm not sure, depends on your definition of extremist. Personally I think I'm more reasonable than some other people, but I think some people would call me an extremist. But anyway, when I make a friend, I think of ways that I can get them to know God because what I'm thinking is--it's great to help them, be there for them, talk with them, and hang out with them, but in the end, I'm really doing them a disservice if I don't tell them about what they're really missing. Whether they accept it or not is another matter, but I am honestly looking for every opportunity to see whether I can tell them about the good news. Not that I use every opportunity, not that I'm any good at evangelizing. Not that fear doesn't paralyze me from doing what I really ought to. Sometimes it is true that I make friends so that I can try to share the gospel with them later on--which isn't the best approach--but what I think about is that there is nothing deeper, no deeper sign of real friendship, than when you tell them about God. It's the single most important thing that they can know. Not saying that we make friends because we want to share the gospel with them (I don't think that it's entirely bad either though), but we want to share the gospel with them because they're our friends, or simply because they're people who are lost and staggering to the slaughter. And I think that the desire to share the gospel ought to outweigh the desire for anything else we would want in a friendship. I guess that, it's not to say there's nothing else in a friendship. Nothing like all talks, all conversations have to be about God until you just inundate them with doctrine. There's a lot of truth in saying that you have to just be there for them, and to testify about God through the way we live and treat them.


But, at any rate, what I was saying at the beginning, about being weak, needing breaks. I think that the reason why there's a verse like Proverbs 24:11 is to say that God is our strength

2 Corinthians 12

⁹But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰ For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. [NOTE: That line is also what I think about when people call me weak, just so you know, those who call me weak, know that I'm really thinking, "hah! I'm actually strong!"]

I guess that whenever it seems that God is demanding too much from us. Is expecting us to do too much, and it seems unfair, that God's not demanding too much from us. God is demanding it from Himself. God is putting the burden on His shoulders, telling us to use His infinite strength, and to keep on relying on that, and come to see that God is indeed able to do it all.

Philippians 4

¹³I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

It's ALL About God

Hey everyone,

Throughout this past year, sophomore year, things were going pretty swell, I have to say. Personally for me, there was a lot of "success." Nothing big was ever really bothering me--I just felt more in control of my emotions than I usually am, though that wasn't always the case throughout the year. Haha, to be sure, there were times of impatience, frustration, loneliness...

But I guess what I mean by success is that during the past year, I felt the meaning of this verse:

Psalm 133

¹Behold, how good and pleasant it is

when brothers dwell in unity!

²It is like the precious oil on the head,

running down on the beard,

on the beard of Aaron,

running down on the collar of his robes!

³It is like the dew of Hermon,

which falls on the mountains of Zion!

For there the LORD has commanded the blessing,

life forevermore.

I got to know many brothers throughout this past year, discovering the same struggles, being helped with my struggles, and finding the joy in helping others and encouraging others in the Lord. God gave me a lot of joy in helping others, and He also taught me of the great blessing that He's given all of us in the "body life." In dwelling together as one under the Lord Jesus Christ. To pray for one another, to share with one another the greatness of God that we have experienced. It's really, really something special.

But just today, I was hit by two huge, huge surprises that have really torn my heart. It's crazy to see so many of the same things happening in such quick succession. I do feel that there must be a purpose for God showing this stuff to me.

Basically, I've just seen people kind of fall away from God. And it's crazy to me--it's crazy to me to hear them. And it breaks my heart, thinking about the mistakes I made, how wrapped up in other things I was when I could have helped. And it's crazy to see where they're at right now. And so that's why I wanted to write something on the blog really quick, just to warn people.

I think Michael Chin said this during the Camping Trip sharing time as well, but yes, CBS is not God. Christians are not God. But you know, back when I was younger, I used to go to Church because my parents made me. Then I used to go to Church because of my friends. Honestly, honestly I don't think I really understood things until college, and even now I'm not sure how much I really understand in my heart. But sometime in either freshman or sophomore year, something happened--I loved CBS, thought it was great, but God showed to me the joy of His salvation. Being a Christian isn't about finding a good Church, finding fellow brothers and sisters to have fun with, to share with, to pray together, it's not about whether a group feels clique-y or you feel like you just don't belong (now I'm not saying that it's bad to have/look for brothers and sisters, or to not hate clique-yness or to not find a better fellowship and all). It's all about God.

I remember the time now, when I thought about this. It was during the summer after my freshman year, and I was so lonely for some reason, and for the first time I realized it wasn't because I was longing for friends, for a girlfriend, for anything. I guess I just realized that the hole in our hearts can only be filled by God alone. God gives us loneliness, so that we know that we're missing something, we're missing Him! And without Him, nothing in this life can satisfy.

And you know, I think lots of people fall away because they don't feel like they belong at any Church, give up looking, and just don't meet with a body of believers (not saying that you have to in order to be a real Christian, but meeting together definitely helps you to keep on pursuing God), and they stop pursuing God. Because they enjoyed the fellowship that they had at one time, but now that it's gone, they don't have that personal inner drive and hunger to know God more. Instead, I think in some sense, they pursued God because of everyone around them.

And it's scary to me--to think, after CBS, would I stop pursuing God? It's something to take into consideration, because what we need is a personal vision of God. A personal understanding of the great joy and just greatness that we have in a relationship with God. That the experiences we have with our brothers and sisters in CBS or any other fellowship that is full of love is just a small portion of the love that we experience with God. That God is simply too important to leave by the wayside. That even though trials will come, and things will get in our way, and stuff will entangle us...even though we may not want to or feel like it, may not understand, God has the words of eternal life. There's simply no way else that we can go, even if we want to.

So for anyone out there who does not know this, please seek to experience it. And for all of us, work out our salvation with fear and trembling, and with humility, knowing that we are only wherever we are by grace and grace alone.

Are you willing to follow God, even when no one else around you seems to be following God?

And I'm not sure if this is right or not, but I do think that if you have a desire to follow God, then you also have a desire to find fellow believers and meet with them. Not saying you have got to meet Sundays with something called a Church in order to be a true Christian. I realize that if you're in the middle of some place with absolutely no other Christian, then it's probably understandable that you're not going to be able to meet up with anyone. I'm saying that, I don't know if you ought to be satisfied by being alone--reading the Bible alone, praying alone--and not making the effort to find others or to meet with others, even if you may not like the people you meet up with, or have some qualms with them (not saying, meet up with people who have fundamentally different views on God than you, saying things like you don't feel like you're a part of the in-group, feel like they're boring) if you can't find some better people to meet up with.

Not to say that you should just sit there quietly in the pews, meet, and go home, and feel like you're justified because you gathered with fellow believers. But rather, I guess that, God has always been after a people, not a person. God wasn't after Moses, uh per se, but God wanted Moses to lead the whole nation of Israel. It's not like God calls a person for the sake of that person, but always in view of the whole Body. We're not meant to stand alone, I think, but rather be a part of the Body together. That's why I feel that not falling away from God also means not falling away from the Body--because we can't just give up on being a part of the Body--because His Will is for the Body, and if we are in accordance with His Will, then we will also be concerned about the Body as well.

Ok, that's what I think, sorry for rambling. Comments? Disagreements? Agreements? Questions?

No Matter the Cost

Hey all!
I was just thinking about Jesus's prayer in the garden of Gethsemane (as well as something that was in a prayer by Helen Roseveare, a missionary who went to Africa). Just what it means when we pray, Your Will be done.

When I was reading about Helen Roseveare's life--how she spent a long time in Africa, being a doctor and a missionary past her limitations, but even more than all of that--she was taken captive during one of the uprisings during that time period, and she was raped and kept prisoner for 5 months before she was rescued. And it's scary to think of that for me. There were amazing times of God's provision in her life (see http://henrywen.wordpress.com/2009/11/02/the-hot-water-bottle-helen-roseveare/), but when I read about her life, the thought that came to my mind was "why didn't God protect her?" or "why did God let this kind of suffering happen to her, when she was serving Him?"

And honestly, it is a struggle for me--just seeing all the suffering in the world, and sometimes I wish God would save us from all this pain. But, I read up on her, some of her messages because I wanted to see what she had to say about her sufferings--because I knew that she must have gotten asked that question a lot.

So before I go into that, I just wanted to go into a prayer she said before she became a missionary. She had prayed to God to become a missionary, and she said, "No matter the cost." From my perspective, knowing her life story now, I wonder what she thought about the cost. Well, here's some of what she thought at any rate: http://www.suffering.net/thank.htm.

But what I really wanted to say, was just that sometimes God's will includes bad things that happen to us. Even though we're Christian, it doesn't mean that our lives will be free from pain. But sometimes, I find myself praying exactly that. I pray for good things to happen to me--find a relationship, get good grades, and what not, and that's not bad. I certainly think that we can pray for that stuff, but there also comes a point where we all have to realize that maybe God doesn't want us to have good grades. Maybe God doesn't want me to be married. And these are things that I hold so tightly onto that it's honestly, honestly scary to pray to God--Your Will be done. It's definitely not something to say casually--ultimately, it is something that we have to say, because God is God and we are not. I know that what God may want may not be what I want, but I guess a good thing to remember is--trust in the Lord. There must be a reason for all of this, and even if we don't understand the reason, we know the One we trust.

Psalm 62

¹¹Once God has spoken;
Twice I have heard this:
That power belongs to God;

¹²And lovingkindness is Yours, O Lord,
For You recompense a man according to his work.

God is loving, and God is strong. And God has given us His promises. He can keep us from harm, but when we do suffer, I think we can say that God has allowed us to suffer in this way for a purpose. We know that it's not just a fruitless suffering, but rather something that will further His purpose and His work in us. We have this hope:

Romans 5

³And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;⁴and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; ⁵and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

And we also know that He won't allow us to go through something that we can't handle, but rather gives us the grace to get through it.

And most of all, He will always be there with us, through it all. We may not like what happens, but He is faithful, and He loves us, and He will carry us through everything.

Romans 8
³⁷No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I used to think that prayer was this kind of formula that I had to learn, and that once I learned it, I could get the things that I wanted. If I prayed with some kind of verse, if I made it seem like the thing that I wanted was beneficial to God's glory, I thought that I could make God do something for me or give me something. I've learned a little bit more about prayer. A large part of prayer is simply just talking to God--whether it be about our struggles in life, about following His Word, about our sins and confessing them, about praying for help, and telling Him how we're doing. And those times are awesome--just knowing that we can be completely honest with how sinful we are, and how we sometimes fail at keeping His Word, and sometimes don't even want to obey it. We can pray for Him to work in us, and He does!

And some of prayer is about committing things to God. We can come to God and tell Him about the things we want--I mean, there's no point in hiding things and trying to be more spiritual than we are because God already knows our entire heart, and it's so freeing for us to know that we don't have to be something that we're not--but at the end, I guess we just have to realize that, in light of the things we want, that we also have to tell Him--Your Will be done. And it's not something that comes easy, but it's something that hopefully He gives us the strength to say and to really mean it. If we don't mean it, then there's really no point in saying it--but what we can ask Him for is to want to mean it, and hopefully He changes our hearts.

Note: !
But to be sure, I think it's alright to ask for stuff we want. I know I'm going to continue to pray for things that I would like, but also just learning to accept His answers, and well, praying for stuff that is in His Will will come later I think.

But well, any comments? Questions? Objections? Because I don't think anyone really understands the whole picture, so for sure, there has to be more I think.