When Feeling a Bit Lost

I've been reading through Job lately, and this book called Our Ultimate Refuge by Oswald Chambers, which talks about Job and his struggles. As I was reading Job, one thing that hit me was that maybe all this time I was reading the book of Job wrong. I was kind of going through it with an intellectual perspective, and you can probably get something out of Job from that, but I missed the very human aspect of it. The words that Job says aren't from someone who's just reflecting on life from a comfortable chair, but they're coming from someone who is going through unbearable suffering and sorrow and confusion.

So basically in Job 22, one of Job's friends is saying that "you're wicked, you need to seek God, and then good things will be restored unto you," and in Job 23, Job replies. I haven't suffered noooowhere near the amount that Job suffered, but something he says is comforting to me.

Job 23:3; 8-10

Oh that I knew where I might find Him,

That I might come to His seat!

Behold, I go forward but He is not there,

And backward, but I cannot perceive Him;

When He acts on the left,

I cannot behold Him;

He turns on the right, I cannot see Him

But He knows the way I take;

When He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.

You know, there are times when I just don't feel God. I know I should, I know His love ought to be enough, and I know that His love is the greatest thing ever, but there are times of confusion and darkness. One of the worst things to feel during those times is...is there something wrong with me? Why am I not feeling that way? Am I just lost in my sin, have I fallen from God, what's going on? I think maybe it could be sin and stuff like that, but sometimes it's not anything like that at all.

What I get from Job in these few verses is that, sometimes God does seem distant--you know, not that He is or anything. Sometimes we're looking for Him, and for some reason we just can't seem to find Him at all. Sometimes when we cry out to Him in prayer, it seems like He delays. I think that's normal in a Christian's life, or well, I think it happens, so if that's something anyone is feeling--I feel that way too. But yeah, just like Job, I believe that deep down inside, past all the pain we might be feeling, or the confusion about why God doesn't seem to be saving us right now, we hold onto our trust in God. We know, deep down, that God is good, that God is loving--and that maybe the circumstances around us just don't seem to make sense to us, but we hold onto God like nothing else, waiting for the day when everything will make sense--like it did for Job.

Job 13:15

Though He slay me,

I will hope in Him...